The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands. Proverbs 14:1
It’s a sobering fact that a woman can build her house, but she also has the power to tear her house down!!! Let’s take a look at some scriptures to find those building blocks that allow a woman to build her house, and some of those factors that can cause her to tear her house down.
My beloved is mine, and I am his. He feeds his flock among the lilies. Song of Solomon 2:16
The above scripture is foundational to a woman’s life. A woman yearns to be loved and valued. She desires to feel special and appreciated. Women usually look to their husbands or girlfriends to get those needs met. While husbands and girlfriends can satisfy some of those needs temporarily, only the Lord can fully satisfy those yearnings.
The more intimate we become with the Lord, we find that He truly is the only one who understands us better than we can understand ourselves. We are His beloved. There is no fear of losing His attention or needing to compete for His attention.
The Lord loved us long before we loved Him!! He knows our weaknesses and our shortcomings, and He still chooses to be in a relationship with us and encourages us to grow and mature. This is a safe and secure place. It takes away a lot of insecurities that women usually struggle with such as a needing to have a best friend, being understood by those around them, or craving a lot of affirmation to make sure they are adequate. This intimacy is a by-product of spending time with the Lord by reading His word, worshipping him and communicating with Him in prayer.
Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Proverbs 31:30
The Lord is clearly telling each woman not to depend on her charm or her beauty. A woman can be charming with her ways and her words. If she uses her charm fraudulently, in order to get what she wants in a relationship, that is being deceitful. She is trying to manipulate or control the situation to gain favor, access, or power.
Proverbs 31:30 reminds a woman that regardless of how beautiful one maybe, the external beauty doesn’t last forever, so don’t invest your time, money, or energy on external beauty because it will be passing sooner or later. While charm and beauty can bring attention and applause from man, the Lord values the woman who fears and honors Him. This woman is not dependent on her own fleshly “power” tools to make something happen, but she is dependent on the Lord. She is trusting that with humility He will give her what she needs. Ruth was a great example of this. Ruth’s inner beauty, her life of love and sacrifice, brought the honor of God and the praise of man to her life.
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4
A crown is a symbol of honor, status, royalty, and authority. When a woman is a crown to her husband, it means he is even more honored with his wife than without his wife because of how she relates to her husband. She is an added, honorable benefit to his life. She respects him for his authority, so he can walk into any room with his head lifted high. With this crown on his head, knowing that people see him highly honored because of how his wife talks about him and how she relates to him. He is not shameful for his wife’s actions or words. He is not wondering if she’ll do something foolish or how much she’s gossiped about him to others.
I hear a lot of women who are waiting for their husbands to look like a king before they can honor him. As a woman, when we are in the right place with the Lord, the Lord calls us to take the step of trusting God by honoring our husbands where they’re at. Obviously if they are in gross sin, we don’t ignore it or deny it, but the enemy usually bombards a woman with unfulfilled expectations of her husband that causes discontentment or tension in the relationship. We also need to be quick to forgive, so no root of bitterness has an opportunity to grow in our hearts.
Proverbs 12:4 makes a serious statement about a woman bringing shame to her husband. It calls it to be like rottenness to his bones!! Ladies, the way we live our lives and relate to our husbands can bring great honor to him or can bring shame so deep that it gets to his bones!! Sometimes, we are quick to apologize and say, “I love you.”, but the question is “Can you respect him?” This is a more critical question to a man, and we need to be mindful of it.
The above scriptures are good scriptures to mediate on and allow the Holy Spirit to show how you are building your house and your life!!
How are you building today? Are there areas that you have been tearing things down that need restoration?