Love is such a powerful and transoforming word!! People can define love any way they wish, but Jesus is our ultimate standard for life, love, and Godliness!! Here is how He sets the standard:
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34-34
Why is Jesus stating that this is a new commandment? Haven’t we seen this commandment in other books of the Bible? What is different this time?
This time, Jesus’ standard of love has changed. In the book of Matthew, He told us to love our neighbor as ourselves. The scripture in Matthew bascially tells us that to the degree that we take care of ourselves and our needs, we should be mindful of the needs of others. This is already a difficult thing to do, but this time Jesus tells us that He wants us to love people the way He loved us. That’s a tall order!!
Jesus loves us sacrificially and patiently, and He is expecting us to love others with that same kind of love. The uncondtional love sometimes seems so lofty that we can’t put our arms around it and percieve how it would work in our lives.
One way to describe the unconditional love is to look at myself as a parent. That’s the closest I can get to unconditional love!! The commitment that I have towards my children is unique because they belong to me, and they only have one mother. I have committed years of my life to raise them. For their benefit, I have given things up in my life. Patienly, I have tried to teach, train, and correct them while I haven’t always it done well. If they get it wrong, I won’t give up on them. If they don’t appreciate me, I don’t stop loving them. My love stays constant despite disappointments or disagreements. The question is, can I love others that consistently?
Many of us confuse the emotion of love with the responsibility of love. Jesus is giving us a commandment to love. We don’t generally have a problem with this commandment. We like and welcome the idea of loving others. Peter didn’t think He had a problem loving Jesus even to the “point of death”!! He didn’t know how small his love was until he was tested!! We are not any different. As soon as difficulties come and disagreements surface, our love is tested and then we realize our love is pretty shallow and flaky!!
Most of us fail the test of love because it is based on emotion rather than the responsibility of love. We think,” if I get close to someone really fast, then I can really appreciate them and love them better”. Love doesn’t work that way. We can’t muster up enough love to love like Jesus does. Love is an investment of time, desire, and a commitment to keep working on a relationship. Depending on the nature of the relationship, we have to have realistic expectations. We need to understand each relationship is unique and not try to make it something it isn’t. That only causes frustration for those involved.
Peter was deeply disappointed with himself when he denied Jesus three times. We get disappointed with ourselves and others when a relationship doesn’t work out the way we expected. Jesus doesn’t tell us to expect people to love us, but He gives us the charge to love people!!
We are not called to love out of emotion. That’s how the world loves. Jesus clearly tells us to love each other as He loves us. If we just love out of emotion, we are not any different from the world. We can be loving and happy with each other until we get crossed. Then we walk away like a little five year old picking up our toys to go play with somebody else. That’s childish, immature, carnal, and it’s flaky. It does not represent the love of Christ, and it certainly doesn’t attract anyone to Him.
How about, instead of using the word “love” casually, especially with those who are a challenge to us, start loving them and stay consistent with it? We don’t have to make them our friends right away. Jesus didn’t ask us to do that. He just asked us to love people.
What does this love look like practically speaking? Maybe instead of avoiding someone, go to them and greet them. Next time you get crossed, instead of shutting down, stay engaged in the relationship. When you get offended, instead of telling your best friend about it, go to the person and talk to them about it. Instead of telling people what to do and try to fix them, just show them compassion for now. Show them you care. It’s time to do love differently. Let’s talk less and be more!!