This is the continuation of the last devotional examining the building blocks that allow a woman to build her house well, and at the same time paying attention to those things that cause a woman to tear her house and her life down!!
The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:11-12
I love this scripture because it is a foundational verse for a relationship between a husband and wife. Trust is at the core of every relationship and so much more in a marriage relationship as the two become one. A man needs to safely trust his wife knowing that his wife is on the same team with him. So, that when things aren’t going well, she is not tearing him down, questioning his judgment, and throwing accusations at him because of his past mistakes.
A man is the protector and provider for his family, so he has some battles to fight out there. He needs to stay focused, work hard, and remain alert to the dangers facing his family. It is so important that when he comes home and he is with his wife, he has a place of rest and refuge. He feels safe. That he doesn’t have to defend himself or prove himself over and over again, but he knows that his wife is on his side, encouraging him and believing in him.
It is better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman. Proverbs 25:24
This scripture applies to any woman who lives or works with others. Women are generally more verbal, and they can be very detailed and specific, which all are great assets. However, those assets can also be a hindrance! A woman wouldn’t mind discussing, debating, sharing, or arguing her point to the nth degree nor can she withhold her displeasure if things aren’t done exactly to her liking. If we’re not careful, this can cause contention or frustration in those around us because others don’t have the energy or care that much to fight every battle!!
The scripture describes sitting on a corner of housetop better than sharing a house with a contentious woman. A housetop in those days would have been a flat roof top. It would rarely get used except for drying fruits for winter, or possibly sleeping at night if it was too hot in summer. That’s not a place you want to spend too much time because it gets lonely and isolated. So basically the scripture says, it is better to feel lonely and isolated and not have much around me than to be around a woman who is contentious!! Ladies, we need to appreciate the people around us, praise them and give thanks for what they regularly do, so when we aren’t around, we’re actually missed for being a voice of encouragement.
Proverbs 31:10-31
These scriptures describe a woman who is capable, busy, industrious, giving, generous, and talented. She is a woman who is focused on her tasks. She is well respected with her own family. She is managing the affairs of her household diligently and minding her own business. She is not looking around to see who is noticing her. She knows her assignment, but she also knows what is “not” her assignment. She understands the boundary and the sphere God has given her to operate in.
Luke 1:39-56
These scriptures describe the relationship between Elizabeth and Mary. They were relatives and they both had gotten pregnant during the same time period. Elizabeth was having a child in old age, but Mary wasn’t even married yet and God was giving her child. What is beautiful about their relationship is that Mary trusted Elizabeth and that’s why she quickly went to her cousin for comfort and security!! Elizabeth being open to the leading of the Lord accepted and received Mary for the call and the purpose of God on her life. The two women had similarities but also major differences in the call of God and the sons the Lord was giving them. They each understood their place and each other’s place and were able to love and accept each other based on God’s assignment, not each other’s wishes or preferences.
If we are going to relate well to other women in our lives, whether it’s family members or friends, we need to be willing to receive them for who God has made them and His purpose for their lives. That takes away a lot of stress eliminating our expectations of the person or trying to change them into who we want them to be. At the same time, even if we are really enamored by someone, understanding this helps us not to want to copy or compete with them desiring what they have. This allows for long lasting, healthy relationships that can be a blessing for decades to come.
For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech. 1Peter 3:10
Our tongue is so powerful that in the book of James it tells us that it can set a forest on fire!! Our tongue can be used to bring life, healing, and reconciliation to a person. Or, it can set a house on fire by tearing our loved ones down by criticizing, gossiping, or backbiting. It requires a great amount of self-control for not using the tongue for evil.
To be a wise woman who wants to build her house, marriage, children, friendships, and churches, we must pay close attention to what we say. When we use our tongue for life, healing and reconciliation, over time we’ll find we’ve been building people as well as our own house, and we can sit back and enjoy the fruit of it in our lives!!
Building takes a lot of work, time, energy, and patience. On the other hand, tearing down doesn’t take a lot of effort or time. You can see an example of that in big buildings or high risers. It may have taken years to build a large building, but when they are ready to tear it down in the matter of minutes or hours that whole building comes down!! We need to be consistent in how we build, be willing to mature in areas of our weakness, and be careful not to tear down!!
Be thankful for the areas that you are doing well.
Find one or two areas that you know the Lord is speaking to you and ask Him to show you how you can do things differently.
If you are married, show these scriptures to your husband. If you are willing to be courageous enough, ask him how he would evaluate you building your house. Make sure you’re ready to hear what he has to say!! It’s not the time to defend. Just simply receive!!