Spirit of Excellence (Part III)

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How would you respond if you were invited to the White House and the President desired to share his food and delicacies with you?

I think most of us will consider it a great honor and privilege to be invited to the White House. The fact that the President would desire to feed us with the best, it would be a very flattering complement! We may even think that this is a blessing from the Lord. We have finally been acknowledged and recognized for who we really are. We might imagine that we have arrived at the pinnacle of success!

And the king appointed for them a daily provision of the king’s delicacies and of the wine which he drank, and three years of training for them, so that at the end of that time they might serve before the king.  Now from among those of the sons of Judah were Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah.  To them the chief of the eunuchs gave names: he gave Daniel the nameBelteshazzar; to Hananiah, Shadrach; to Mishael, Meshach; and to Azariah, Abed-Nego.

But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king’s delicacies, nor with the wine which he drank; Daniel 1:5-8a

Daniel had a different response to king’s delicacies than most people. He was already serving a king. His king was the King of Kings and the Lord of lords. He had been at the presence of his King long before he came before the presence of the Babylonian king. His arrival at the palace was just one of many assignments that God had for him, but His identity and significance weren’t tied to it.

When you sit down to eat with a ruler,
Consider carefully what is before you;
 And put a knife to your throat
If you are a man given to appetite.
 Do not desire his delicacies,
For they are deceptive food. Proverbs 23:1-3

Daniel refused to eat from the king’s table because his first and foremost allegiance was to His King! An ambassador of Christ is sent to a foreign territory, and he/she is never supposed to get caught up with the culture and customs of the foreign country to the point of not representing the kingdom that sent him/her.

An excellent spirit comes from having settled the issue of our allegiance that regardless of the circumstances and losses one may experience, one’s focus and mission does not change. When we have Daniel’s attitude about our assignments, our outlook and our response to situations are very different. We are not at the mercy of man to recognize us, give us privileges,  or take them away. We know the most important person in heaven and on earth has recognized us, so now we focus on being his instrument in the new place!

Daniel was faced with earthly losses many times. However, he was determined to please His God and His almighty King, and the supposed earthly losses turned out to be to his spiritual advantage!

Today, what are you faced with that may require some losses in order to develop an excellent spirit?

Spirit of Excellence (Part II)

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What were the characteristics that made Daniel a man with an excellent spirit?

Then the king instructed Ashpenaz, the master of his eunuchs, to bring some of the children of Israel and some of the king’s descendants and some of the nobles,  young men in whom there was no blemish, but good-looking, gifted in all wisdom, possessing knowledge and quick to understand, who had ability to serve in the king’s palace, and whom they might teach the language and literature of the Chaldeans.  And the king appointed for them a daily provision of the king’s delicacies and of the wine which he drank, and three years of training for them, so that at the end of that time they might serve before the king.  Now from among those of the sons of Judah were Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah. Daniel 1:3-6

quality-65060_640Daniel was taken captive by the Babylonians as a teenager to serve the king. He wasn’t brought to be just slave in a foreign land; he was chosen to serve the king in the palace.

The king was looking for a few qualities that were present in Daniel. Physically, he was good looking and without blemish. He was also gifted in wisdom. He had shown the ability to be prudent, to relate to people well, and to make sound decisions that allowed him to stand above all others. He possessed knowledge which meant he had done the work of becoming educated and learned young man. He was also able to be quick to understand.

Those characteristics show someone who had a vision for his life. Daniel wasn’t preparing for any long term goals neither did he know that he was going to be taken to the king’s palace. As a matter of fact, considering the condition of Israelites and their captivity, he could have easily found excuses not to become educated. He could have determined in his heart that there was no point to gaining skills or knowledge if he was going to spend the rest of his life as a Babylonian slave.

Some of the common questions from my children and my students are,  “Why do I need to learn this material? Where will I use it?”. Our children have a mindset that they don’t need to learn something until there is a need to learn to it.

If Daniel had that attitude, he would not have been ready for what came his way. He had no prior knowledge that he was going to be taken to the king’s palace. He wasn’t doing it because he had career goals and ambitions. Daniel was only doing it because he had a noble character, and he was willing to do his best regardless of the circumstances. This caused him to have such a good reputation that the king heard about him. 

When we give our best whether it matters or not, we have stepped into a new dimension. We have started walking down the path of excellence!

Spirit of Excellence (Part I)

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I have heard of you, that the Spirit of God is in you, and that light and understanding and excellent wisdom are found in you. Daniel 5:4

Then this Daniel distinguished himself above the governors and satraps, because an excellent spirit was in him; and the king gave thought to setting him over the whole realm. Daniel 6:3

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The Bible tells us that Daniel had a reputation for having an excellent spirit. Before he stepped into the palace, Daniel was excellent. Having an excellent spirit is very different than being perfectionist or performing to get a reward.

In our culture, we very much operate on reward system. We reward our children for doing something right, and we sometimes bribe them to get their cooperation. We look for rewards in schools as well. We want our children to be highlighted at school and be rewarded for their achievements at school or sports by trophies and accolades. The children are excited about being highlighted, and we are proud of their rewards and accomplishments.

We look for rewards and benefits at our jobs for doing a good job, and we also expect it in the church for following and serving Christ. People work hard, so they can be rewarded a promotion at work or gain a ministry position at church.

Rewards in and of themselves are not a problem. Many times new believers and especially young people need encouragement to keep going and doing the right thing for a while. However,  at some point the reward system in the form of prize or being highlighted must diminish if we want to develop the character of the individual. We need to allow the person grow above and beyond being rewarded for the right actions and the right behavior.

The problem with a continual reward system is that the person’s character doesn’t fully mature because their goal is to be rewarded before they choose to do the right thing. Their focus is: ”What’s in it for me?, What will I get out of it?, How will this help me to be seen or to get ahead?”

If we are going to develop as people of character, rewards cannot be the motivating factor to stretch us into excellence! There needs to be a deeper conviction about who we are and whose we are that causes us to live differently and operate at a higher standard and code of conduct.

Daniel was one of these individuals, and I will share about his character qualities that made him excellent!

 

Developing Healthy Boundaries (Part II)

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This is the continuation from the last devotional in building healthy boundaries.

3. Seek the will of God in all things

In establishing healthy boundaries, seeking the will of God is very important. When we know His will, we will feel more confident in our decision in setting proper boundaries. Seeking the will of God shall prevent us from wondering if we just missed a great opportunity by declining to acquiesce to someone’s demands. It will comfort us in knowing we were not mean by saying “No” to someone. It will also help us not to be disappointed with those who didn’t follow our advise or instructions. Sometimes people are in a process with God, and His work is not finished with them. 

His brothers therefore said to Him, “Depart from here and go into Judea, that Your disciples also may see the works that You are doing.  For no one does anything in secret while he himself seeks to be known openly. If You do these things, show Yourself to the world.”  For even His brothers did not believe in Him.

 Then Jesus said to them, “My time has not yet come, but your time is always ready. The world cannot hate you, but it hates Me because I testify of it that its works are evil. You go up to this feast. I am not yet going up to this feast, for My time has not yet fully come.”  When He had said these things to them, He remained in Galilee. John 7:3-9

Jesus is a great example of setting boundaries. He was asked and expected to do miracles and show up to different places. However, He did not allow others to pressure Him to do something out of the will of the Father. According to above scripture, Jesus knew that God planned to keep His identity hidden. Jesus couldn’t do what others were doing, and He was ok with it. Understanding the will of the Father, will help us not to be compelled to say, “Yes” to something because others are doing it. 

In His interactions with His followers, many times Jesus prefaced His teachings with the word “If” . Jesus gave people a choice that  “if” they desired wholeness, then God had certain instructions to help them get there. If Jesus gave a choice to people, how much more do we need to give room for people to make their own decision without the fear of reprisal!?

4. Communicate honestly and invite feedback

Sometimes people are not aware how they come across when they overstep others’ boundaries.  It is important to have honest communication with individuals who have a history of boundary-less behavior and explain that their approach is pushy and domineering. Conversely, we may not see how our intensity or tone of voice can make people feel. We should invite feedback from others to ensure our method of communication gives room for others to be real with us. 

Developing healthy boundaries is not easy, but it is a necessity to live a God honoring life. If people can love us only when we surrender ourselves to their wishes, then they really don’t respect and honor us. As our boundaries become healthy, the real person will begin to emerge!

Developing Healthy Boundaries (Part I)

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Healthy relationships require healthy boundaries! While developing boundaries in a boundary-less relationship will cause some pain and discomfort, it is necessary for all parties involved.

1. Determine your sphere of responsibility

We, however, will not boast beyond proper limits, but will confine our boasting to the sphere of service God himself has assigned to us, a sphere that also includes you. 2 Corinthians 10:13

Sphere (according to Strong’s Dictionary): a definitely bounded or fixed space within the limits of which one’s power of influence is confined, one’s sphere of activity.

Developing healthy boundaries begin with understanding our sphere of responsibility and what God is going to hold us accountable to.  Some of the examples of our responsibilities are: our body, our spiritual growth, our finances, our marriage, and our children under 18 years of age.

Some examples of areas which are not are responsibility are as follows: our adult children living on their own, others’ marriages and families, friends’ struggles, the quality of others’ spirituality, service, or work.

Some of the responsibilities are shared ones in which two or more people have to be willing to do the work such as marriage or friendship. In those cases, God will hold us accountable to our part. If our focus is the results, it will cause stress and the need to control. The joint responsibilities require much prayer.

2. Set boundaries for yourself

Sometimes when the issue of boundaries is discussed, we can quickly think about our spouse, boss, or friends and how we wished they had healthier boundaries. The truth is that we cannot change people, but we can change our interactions with people! The transformation will come when we are willing to do the hard work of setting boundaries for ourselves.

In order to set boundaries for ourselves, we need to think about being on the giving and the receiving end in a relationship. On the receiving end, we don’t allow others to overstep our space spiritually, emotionally, or physically. This can cause great deal of turmoil and fear in our hearts. However,  if we are going to be healthy in relationships, we need to learn to say “no” and be ready for the other person to cut off the relationship or privileges. How valuable is the “true you” to you?

On the giving end, we show self-control by honoring other people’s space and try not to be overpowering or overbearing. This also includes not manipulating others by our assistance or the gifts we give them. This is hard for controlling people. They may feel weak or powerless. It can also frustrate those who are results oriented. The truth is that we should not have power to exert control over someone else’s life and decisions anyway.

In our adult interactions, we influence people by how we live our lives rather than telling others how they should live! Overtime, if someone respects us, they may ask for our input. Once we have given our input then we’re done. We need to surrender the person or the situation to the Lord. Trusting God is the key in this process! The Lord is working on them, and He will do a better job in handling their lives than we ever could.

I will continue on the subject of developing healthy boundaries in the next devotional.

 

Boundary-Less People

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The Lord has designed us to be relational and at the same time develop healthy boundaries around those relationships. We develop great relational problems when we don’t honor and respect our boundaries or the boundaries of others!

How do boundary-less people operate in relationships?

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days.  People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,  without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good,  treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God- having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.

 They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over gullible women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth. 2Timothy 3:1-7

Some boundary-less people are passive/agreeable. They don’t honor their own boundaries and allow others to mistreat them, take advantage of them, and use them inappropriately. They continue to compromise their own honor and personhood because they haven’t learned to say, “No”, or they are afraid of losing relationships.

For example, some women can give themselves over to men for the desire to receive love, and they continue to compromise their bodies and soul in order to have a man’s attention/acknowledgement. This may be sexual or asexual. One may be agreeable with those things that are not the truth. While they may get a man’s attention for a while, he will not respect and honor her. This eventually causes hatred, bitterness, and resentment in the heart of the woman who has given herself to another man without proper boundaries. Women begin not to honor and trust themselves because their body and/or soul have been violated over and over again.

Another group of boundary-less people are controlling/dominating. They have no problem stepping into someone else’s boundary and telling them how they should run their lives. They are overconfident and intimidating. They will make it known subtly that if people don’t acquiesce to their expectation and demands, they will withdraw love or privileges. The greater authority or position the person has, the more dangerous and insidious this becomes because they can take the voice of God in a believer’s life! Some people can be a mixture of being agreeable to a few and dominating to others.

Some of the examples of boundary-less problems are: Parents trying to control their adult children, in-laws interfering in the affairs of their children’s marriages, spouses being domineering and expecting “their way or the highway”, employers having unreasonable expectations of their employees, and spiritual leaders misapplying scriptures in order to control people’s behavior and/or righteousness.

Identify boundary-less relationships in your life, and ask the Lord to show you your part in it.

“How do we develop healthy boundaries?” is the subject of my next devotional.

 

 

The Significance of Boundaries

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What is the importance of boundaries?

God is a God of boundaries. In six days of creation, He continued to create and delineate. Boundaries make things clear; they delineate an area and separate what is within bounds and what is out of bounds.

Boundaries show us what is acceptable, safe, & prudent versus what is unacceptable, dangerous, or foolish. They differentiate between our responsibility versus someone else’s responsibility.

The issues of boundaries would be simple if we lived on our own, but because we live in a community with others, there is a continual tug of war as to where our responsibility ends and someone else’s begins. The more clear we are about our boundaries, the more peaceful and healthier our relationships.

Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”

    So God created mankind in his own image,
    in the image of God he created them;
    male and female he created them.

God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” Genesis 1:26-28

Our Identity includes boundary

God defined and set boundaries to everything He created including our identity. God’s purpose causes His creation to have definition and boundaries. We cannot have a clear and secure identity until we understand the boundary and the definition God has designed for us.

In the beginning, God created Adam & Eve in His image and in His likeness. That means we were not created in the image of animals, trees, or mountains, but we were created in the likeness of God. While Evolutionists may consider us having evolved from animals, God has defined us by setting our definition as being God-like rather than animal-like! This has a huge ramification on our purpose and value as people!

Our body has a boundary

God has given us a body with a boundary, and we are called to take care of it and treat it well. Our Soul which makes up our mind, emotions, and will also belongs to us. No one should think, feel, or decide for us. God has given our soul  to steward it according to His ways.

The Lord created humanity in male and female each with his/her own specific physiology and purpose in relating to each other. The acceptance of our gender and body can eliminate much insecurity, sexual identity problems, and food related disorders.

The scripture tells us that our body is the temple of God. Hence, we need to keep it pure from pollution, ungodliness, and sin, so the Spirit of God could comfortably reside in it. No one can exercise for us, eat healthy, or develop a skill. We are the ones responsible to do the work while God may send people to encourage us along the way.

Our marriage has a boundary

God has a set an order and boundary in marriage, and He has designated roles for husbands and wives. At the same time, He calls them “one” because if they look to Him as they do their part in marriage, where one ends and the other one begins will not be easily visible.  

Our purpose has a boundary

God created a job description for Adam & Eve, which clearly defined the boundaries of their responsibility. He designated their sphere of stewardship. Adam & Eve were created to be fruitful, to subdue the earth, and to rule over all living creatures. This was a God given responsibility which came with its associated provision and ability to do it.

Boundaries provide accountability to what we are responsible for, and they also relieve us from the burdens and responsibilities that don’t belong to us.

If you are stressed, frustrated, or worried, you may need to examine your boundary lines. Make sure that you are clear as to where your responsibility ends and someone else’s begins.

I will continue with this subject in the next devotional.

 

 

Understanding Avoids Derision (Part II)

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How do we relate to other people in an engaging and caring manner?

Now the Pharisees, who were lovers of money, also heard all these things, and they derided Him. And He said to them, “You are those who justify yourselves before men, but God knows your hearts. For what is highly esteemed among men is an abomination in the sight of God. Luke 16:15

As I shared in the last devotional, believers can’t operate as trial lawyers whose agenda is to just be right! We are called to respond differently. Based on the above scripture we need to pay attention to three areas:

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1. Value what others share

We truly need understanding to hear someone else’s point of view whose background and life experience is different than ours. Sometimes we avoid compassion and understanding because we are afraid it may be taken the wrong way. We are worried that if we show too much sympathy, the person may surmise that we are in agreement with them.

Jesus was called  “friend of sinners”. On the surface, it looked like He was ok with people’s sin because He had a relationship with them. However, Jesus did not shy away from telling  people the truth.  He was able to do it skillfully by picking the right time, the right place, and the right approach. He was patient with the process. God is patient with us as well. Many times, He works through a process to help us see the error of our ways.

Valuing what others share doesn’t mean we have to agree with them, but it does mean that they are heard and cared for.

2. Refrain from justifying ourselves

When we are in the mode of justifying ourselves, we are too busy protecting our interests. We are not in a position to hear someone else’s point of view neither are we open to seeing our shortcoming. Justification can become a smokescreen for a believer or a church to not look in the mirror and correct what needs attention. That’s a scary place, and the enemy would love to have a field day with that kind of person or church.

When it comes to the issue of how we handle other people’s sin, we need to make a great effort to not make it a political stance but allow it to be about God’s heart for people. For example, In John 8:1-11 a woman is caught in adultery.  There was no question that adultery was wrong, but how the scribes and the Pharisees handled the woman was very different than how Jesus handled it. The religious people treated the sinner as a contagious disease while Jesus saw her as a sinner with potential to change!

3. Popularity is not the plumb line

If a person or a church believes they are right with God because they are popular or have a following, they could be terribly wrong! God is not swayed by popularity of an individual neither is He impressed by the size of a ministry. As a matter of fact,  what man highly exalts, God looks down upon!

If we want to know what pleases God, we need to read our Bible and get into our prayer closet and ask the Lord on various matters. We all need to develop our own personal walk with God without following the popular trends or relying solely on spiritual leaders for our spiritual growth and well being.

Do we value and care about people with different points of view? 

 

 

 

 

 

Understanding Avoids Derision (Part I)

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It is surprising that things which are clearly stated in the Bible are now up for debate among Christians. In addition, we live in an age that social media has given opportunity for millions of people to have a platform to share their ideas and opinions regardless of their validity and helpfulness to the masses.

We live in a time that it is very difficult to know who is really following Christ or who just has a form of godliness but denying His power to change lives. So how do we respond to people?

Now the Pharisees, who were lovers of money, also heard all these things, and they derided Him. And He said to them, “You are those who justify yourselves before men, but God knows your hearts. For what is highly esteemed among men is an abomination in the sight of God. Luke 16:15

 The above scripture tells us that the Pharisees derided Jesus.

Deride (Webster’s Dictionary): to talk or write about (someone or something) in a very critical or insulting way: to say that (someone or something) is ridiculous or has no value

Jesus was derided by the Pharisees; they ignored and criticized His teachings. They also justified themselves among men.

When I look at the landscape of Christianity right now, it seems to me that we can all be guilty of deriding other believers and justifying our own positions. This is a dangerous path that can lead to the disintegration of the unity in the body of Christ and securing a self-righteous position.

I am not for compromise whatsoever. Without the doubt anything that the Bible states clearly, we have not been given permission to dilute or sugarcoat it. However, in some instances it is the issue of how we apply the Word of God rather than the actual scriptures. 

In applying the Word of God, we all should be students in the laboratory of life. If we remain teachable and humble, we can learn from each other and from those that we are trying to reach. 

As a teacher, I need to know how my students absorb the material and should make an attempt to reach students with different learning modality. One size doesn’t fit all! We all can learn what makes people more receptive to the truth.

Jesus told the Pharisees that they were too busy justifying themselves. We as Christians cannot operate like carnal lawyers whose main goal is to be right. We can win the battle but lose the war. In the process we may gain a momentary satisfaction but lose a relationship with a person because we were too busy justifying our position.

 I will continue with this subject in the next devotional.

Hidden For a Purpose

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And the people waited for Zacharias, and marveled that he lingered so long in the temple. But when he came out, he could not speak to them; and they perceived that he had seen a vision in the temple, for he beckoned to them and remained speechless.

 So it was, as soon as the days of his service were completed, that he departed to his own house. Now after those days his wife Elizabeth conceived; and she hid herself five months, saying, “Thus the Lord has dealt with me, in the days when He looked on me, to take away my reproach among people.”

Luke 1:21-25

Zacharias remained mute and his wife became pregnant after the angel’s announcement. After Elizabeth became pregnant, she hid herself for five months. Why now? God had taken her reproach by allowing her to get pregnant. Why would she need to hide herself now!?

When we look at the accounts of various individuals in the Bible, it seems that after God delivered a prophetic word to them, they were sent into hiding for a season. Moses was hidden a couple of times. Joseph was sold into slavery. Esther’s identity was hidden for a purpose. Jesus was hidden by being taken away from danger of being slaughtered as a baby boy.

The season of hiding has a great purpose. This is the season of provision, protection, and preparation. In the season of hiding, we shut the door to distractions, doubt, and opinions of others that are harmful to the work of God!

This reminds of the story of the Elisha and the widow where God’s provision came in a unique way. For details see 2 Kings 4: 1-7. The prophet of God told the widow how she was going to get her provision. She was going to borrow jars from the neighbors and fill them with oil. This caused her to have enough oil to sell, pay off debt,  and live off of it.

The widow had to shut the door and do what the prophet told her. She was shutting the door to the naysayers and to doubt. It would have been easy for a neighbor or a friend to stop by and wonder what she was doing with the jars. That provision didn’t make any sense naturally.

Sometimes we need to shut the door to the doubts in our heads. At other times we need to shut the door to trying to explain to others what God is doing. Sometimes we try to defend our  promise or provision from God. It is best to just get alone with God and continue to do what He has asked us to do even when it doesn’t make sense. 

Elizabeth remained in hiding for five months and during this time the baby grew. After this period of time, she was able to physically show that she was really pregnant, and it was not just a weight gain or wishful expectation. In those five months, the door was shut to doubt and unbelief until the word of the Lord took root in her and showed to the world that God’s promise was true!

Sometimes our environment causes discouragement. Our family members and friends may not have the clarity or the conviction about what God is doing in our lives. Has the Lord asked you to shut the door to anything that denies His work in you? Let’s choose today to shut the door and remain in faith. We can choose to continue to nurture and trust His word in us regardless of who/what is around us.