How do we cultivate and develop God-Ordained Relationships?
Now when he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. Saul took him that day, and would not let him go home to his father’s house anymore. Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan took off the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, even to his sword and his bow and his belt. 1 Samuel 18:1-4
1.True friendship is established on truth and God’s purpose: Jonathan clearly saw his father’s behavior towards David and knew that his father harbored malice towards him. Jonathan could have easily defended his father and sided with him, given that Saul was in power and, moreover, his father. However, Jonathan was objective enough to see the truth in the relationship between David and Saul.
2.Friendship without agenda: Seek to build relationships that go beyond the surface level. Invest time and effort into friendships that encourage spiritual growth and mutual support. Examine your heart and ensure that you have no hidden agenda in desiring the friendship. If this person had no status, wealth, or position, would you be still be interested in having them as a friend?
3.Cultivate depth in relationship: Seek to build relationships that go beyond the surface level. Invest time and effort into friendships that encourage spiritual growth and mutual support. Gossip can provide a temporary and carnal intimacy, but it does not produce depth in relationships. The thing that sustains this kind of carnal relationship is to find a new person to criticize or gossip about. Instead of deepening the relationship by talking about someone else’s weaknesses or vulnerabilities, we should work on talking about our own weaknesses and vulnerabilities and growing closer to each other.
4.Practice Selflessness: Reflect on how you can show selfless love in your relationships. Small acts of kindness and putting others first can transform friendships. Have you considered and studied what your friends see as acts of love or do you just do for them what you enjoy?
5.Honor Commitments: Be a friend who honors commitments. When you promise to be there for someone, follow through with dedication and integrity. This is important when we don’t even feel good about ourselves or about the relationship. We should show up in the relationship. If there is anything that need to be addressed, then we should be open with our feelings or concerns in the relationship
6.Uplift and Encourage: Just as Jonathan uplifted David, find ways to encourage and support your friends in their God-given callings and aspirations. Jonathan’s assignment from the Lord was to encourage David who was isolated and mistreated. His job was also to give tips to David to ensure he won’t be hurt by his father Saul. This was God’s provision for David. As much as David had difficulties, he could still see God’s hand of provision and protection in his life by bringing Jonathan to his life. The beauty of this was that David didn’t seek Jonathan for personal gain. Instead, Jonathan sought David because he knew David was someone special.
Deep friendships take time, commitment, and work. They don’t easily come by and we should regularly thank God for them!
Father, Help us to cultivate friendships that are deeply rooted in Your love. Teach us to be selfless, committed, and encouraging to those around us. May our relationships reflect Your love and bring glory to Your name. Amen.
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