Unity requires an internal transformation. External conformity can only result into a temporary unity, but only internal transformation can produce meaningful and lasting unity.
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Romans 12:2
The scripture in Romans 12:2 tells us not to conform to the world but to allow our minds to be transformed. We have all had our own ideas about what unity looks like and how we can make it happen in our surroundings. Now we need to change our mind about what unity looks like and how it is achieved. This requires challenging our view of unity and align it to the Bible rather than our upbringing or the messages we heard from those around us.
Furthermore, in order to develop true unity, we need to find our identity in the person of Christ.
For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. Romans 8:29
In Romans 8:29, Paul urges us to be conformed to the image of Christ. We were born in the image of God, but sin marred that image, causing us to lose sight of true righteousness and holiness. God sent Jesus to us as the perfect example of what He desires His children to become according to His original purpose.
The scripture tells us that we are to have the mind of Christ. Do you have the mind of Christ?
Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ. 1Corinthians 11:1 (KJV)
In 1 Corinthians 11:1, Paul tells us to follow him as he follows Christ. Jesus is the blueprint for what God is looking for in His people. Jesus made the way for us to escape the corruption of the old nature, so we can freely follow Christ and model our lives after Him.
I don’t believe Paul was trying to take the place of Jesus by asking people to follow him. If believers decided to follow Paul to the exclusion of staying in tune with Jesus, they would form a mediator between themselves and Jesus. On the contrary, we all should be looking to Jesus. We are all walking the journey of faith. Some are further down the path and we can look to them as they have followed the Lord wholeheartedly for years, but they are never to replace the Bible and the leading of the Holy Spirit.
When every believer is willing to go through the process of transformation and follow the path of faith, we are in a better position to be in unity with others without having to conform to them.