I shared in the last devotional that as we go through different seasons, we don’t know exactly how the harvest will look like. What we we know is that God has promised a harvest of righteousness for those who live/walk through various seasons according to His plan.
Raising children is one of the areas that the harvest cannot easily be determined. Every Christian family makes their own decisions on how to raise their family. Hopefully, they are all seeking the Lord as they raise their children. However, the harvest will look different in each child’s life and from what parents imagined. One of the big variables is that children develop their own minds, free will, and emotions, and, as a result, they form their own path. Our part is raising them to adulthood according to God’s instructions, but we’re not responsible for the choices they make as adults.
Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
The above scripture is a reminder that raising children is seasonal. We plant the seeds of faith by reading the Bible to them, taking them to church, and praying for them. We raise them in the fear and admonition of the Lord and introducing them to Jesus. In addition, at the natural level, we are called to hold them accountable and allow them to see the consequences of their actions. We also set the example by living a life of diligence and taking responsibility for our choices. This kind of lifestyle allows the years of childrearing to be used wisely and effectively. When the children become teenagers, they strive to make their own decisions, and to some degree, we need to let them. Eventually, when they become adults, they have the responsibility to take ownership of their faith. This may take a few years, but the parents are not in control of it anymore.
The problem is that sometimes parents think that they are responsible for their adult children to be spiritually connected to the Lord. The truth is that our season of responsibility is over, and we need to make the necessary adjustments. The adult children need to be encouraged to pray for themselves and not to expect parents to just pray for them. We should also point them to the Bible to find the direction they are seeking and refrain from offering our counsel to them. As long as, we are taking care of their spiritual needs, they will not develop an appetite for God, and we become enablers in their arrested development. The adult children will have to go through their own seasons of faith, and we can’t rescue them from their spiritual fall and winter seasons. When we are willing to show courage and set boundaries for our children while young, we enable them to set boundaries for themselves when they become adults.
When we were raising teenagers, I would hear how some Moms were their children’s best friends. However, I chose not to go that route. I was willing to go through choppy waters and not be afraid of the displeasure of my children. Now it is clear that those kinds of relationships did not produce good fruit in the friends’ lives. I am very thankful that I did not give in to the voice of the culture and the peer pressure!
If your adult children are not walking with the Lord, continue to pray for them that God would intersect their lives. If there was negligence or sin on your part while raising them, ask the Lord for forgiveness and, when appropriate, ask your children for their forgiveness. In addition, cut off ungodly soulish ties with your children that hinders them to be free to seek truth without your pressure. Forgiveness and cutting off soulish ties shuts the door to the enemy to play with your mind and emotions and his attempts to torment you about your children’s choices. Continue to surrender them to the Lord and speak words of life that calls them to a higher place!
If you are a parent of children at home, are you courageous to do the hard work to raise them in His ways? If you are a parent of adult children, have you accepted the fact that your children’s spiritual wellbeing is no longer your responsibility?
