We live in a time that selfishness is rampant, and it does not take much effort to see it in others. However, many times we don’t recognize selfishness in ourselves because, in comparison to others, we don’t think we are selfish.
If we are going to see a change in our society, the change needs to begin with God’s people loving God and loving their neighbor. This means that we need to identify and deal with selfishness in us to truly represent God’s heart and God’s love to the world.
But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 2Timothy 3:1-2
Selfishness begets selfishness. If parents are selfish, they can’t expect the children not to be selfish. If adults can’t get along with their siblings or friends, they can’t expect the children to get along with their siblings. The truth is that we all impact each other with our attitudes. Those who are caring may get discouraged or burned out from reaching out to those who continue to be selfish. We need to fan into flame love and selflessness because selfishness is the order of the day in our culture.
The above passage begins by telling us that people will be lovers of themselves. Then the passage continues to list some of the characteristics of the people in the last days. These characteristics seem to be symptoms of selfishness and people being lovers of themselves. This list is important in identifying selfish behavior.
Sometimes selfishness shows up when every issue becomes about the individual. The person only thinks about how they about it, and how it will impact them. They ignore the impact of the situation on others. They expect others to come through for them, but they don’t want expectations be placed on them. People who are lovers of themselves feel that they deserve special treatment and special consideration.
For some, selfishness exposes itself by being unforgiving, unloving, and unthankful. This becomes a point of tension in many of the relationships because the focus is on others being wrong. This is also perpetuated by being headstrong and haughty as the above passage explains. Selfishness causes all forms of breakups in relationships.
Selfishness can also be evident in those with no self-control on their temper, passions, or words. When they get passionate about a subject matter, they can become out of control. They trample down relationships with their actions, words, or attitudes, and when their emotions settle down, they want to kiss and make up. This kind of behavior causes much destruction in the wake of the person’s selfishness and temper.
The truth is that most of us don’t confront others with their attitude of selfishness. This also means that others would not necessarily tell us if we are being selfish. One of the ways, we can suspect that selfishness could be an issue is that we are not experiencing the peace and the joy of God. Another way to determine our selfishness is to examine our thoughts and see how we think of ourselves and others. Also if we have ongoing relational problems with people close to us, it could point to the fact that we struggle with selfishness and expecting to have it our way.
Are we selfish!? We can start by meditating on the above passage and praying for the Lord to show us any areas of selfishness. Asking questions rather than making our opinions known helps us to connect with those we care about. Also becoming a better listener will help us to be more in tune with what others are feeling or how things impact others. Finally, if we can handle the truth, we should ask a close friend if they see us as a selfish person. This could be a touchy issue because we may not be ready to hear the truth. We need to be willing not to hold it against our friends or try to convince them that it is not true.
As believers, we need to pay attention to selfishness that gives way to all of the attitudes and behaviors the above passage describes. The more we are in tune with such issues, the more likely, we can deal with the root cause. It will also allow the Lord to heal and deliver us, so we can be a shining light in a world that is ignorant of its vices.
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