I shared in the last devotional that fools have no interest in being corrected, and confrontation does not seem to change the course of their decision. Then there are angry and brash people. These individuals are not looking to be confronted, but they have no problem exploding and causing strife in relationships.
Confrontation is an intentional and calculated act. It requires one to determine the right time and the right approach. It also requires discernment as to whether the person is open to confrontation.
Make no friendship with an angry man, And with a furious man do not go, Proverbs 22:24
An angry man stirs up strife, And a furious man abounds in transgression. Proverbs 29:22
A scoffer does not love one who corrects him, Nor will he go to the wise. Proverbs 15:12
Scoffers set a city aflame, But wise men turn away wrath. Proverbs 29:8
The above scriptures have one thing in common, and that is to stay away from angry people. Angry people can scoff at others and generally do not respect the boundaries of others. Once they are emotional, no one can change their mind about a course of action. They have no problem setting a city aflame because they are hot-headed and need to vent their aggression somewhere.
The story of Nabal and Abigail is an example of what the above scriptures tell us. Below are portions of 1 Samuel 25:
Now there was a man in Maon whose business was in Carmel, and the man was very rich. He had three thousand sheep and a thousand goats. And he was shearing his sheep in Carmel. 3 The name of the man was Nabal, and the name of his wife Abigail. And she was a woman of good understanding and beautiful appearance; but the man was harsh and evil in his doings. He was of the house of Caleb.
1 Samuel 25:2-3
So when David’s young men came, they spoke to Nabal according to all these words in the name of David, and waited.
10 Then Nabal answered David’s servants, and said, “Who is David, and who is the son of Jesse? There are many servants nowadays who break away each one from his master. Shall I then take my bread and my water and my meat that I have killed for my shearers, and give it to men when I do not know where they are from?” So David’s young men turned on their heels and went back; and they came and told him all these words. Then David said to his men, “Every man gird on his sword.” So every man girded on his sword, and David also girded on his sword. And about four hundred men went with David, and two hundred stayed with the supplies.1 Samuel 25:9-13
Now when Abigail saw David, she dismounted quickly from the donkey, fell on her face before David, and bowed down to the ground. So she fell at his feet and said: “On me, my lord, on me let this iniquity be! And please let your maidservant speak in your ears, and hear the words of your maidservant. Please, let not my lord regard this scoundrel Nabal. For as his name is, so is he: Nabal is his name, and folly is with him! But I, your maidservant, did not see the young men of my lord whom you sent. 1Samuel 25: 23-25
Nabal was a harsh man. The scripture tells us that harshness brings about strife. This man did not have respect for others and his own people did not like him. However, he had a beautiful and understanding wife who probably was used to cleaning up the messes he left behind with his angry and harsh outbursts. This situation was no different.
David (who was not a king yet) sent his men asking for some assistance from Nabal. This was done in good gesture. He had helped Nabal’s people in the past, so he assumed that Nabal would have no problem returning the favor. However, he received David’s men with harshness, so when David heard about it, David became angry. He was ready to go and destroy Nabal and his people, but Nabal’s wife intervened.
Abigail came to him with humility and asked David to reconsider. She told him that her husband was foolish and confronted David with the reality of his higher purpose than getting involved in retaliation. David received and accepted Abigail’s words of wisdom.
Abigail did not confront her husband because he was a harsh man who would not have listened. The best thing to do is to stay away from hot-headed people who are looking for trouble. But wise people can be confronted and they will reconsider their course of action.
We may have certain people around us who are hot-headed and angry individuals. These kinds of individuals are not the kinds of people who can be confronted because they are looking for arguments and strife. The best thing to do is to keep our distance. We can try to talk to those who are willing to listen and help them not to get trapped by the brashness of the angry person.
When we look at scriptures, we see that different people and circumstances require a different type of confrontation, and sometimes there is no use for confrontation. It is best to evaluate the situation and prayerfully determine if/when confrontation is necessary and effective.