This is a continuation from last the devotional. Tamar became a widow twice because the two brothers were both wicked in God’s sight!
So she took off her widow’s garments, covered herself with a veil and wrapped herself, and sat in an open place which was on the way to Timnah; for she saw that Shelah was grown, and she was not given to him as a wife. When Judah saw her, he thought she was a harlot, because she had covered her face. Then he turned to her by the way, and said, “Please let me come in to you”; for he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law. Genesis 38:14-16
And it came to pass, about three months after, that Judah was told, saying, “Tamar your daughter-in-law has played the harlot; furthermore she is with child by harlotry.”
So Judah said, “Bring her out and let her be burned!”
When she was brought out, she sent to her father-in-law, saying, “By the man to whom these belong, I am with child.” And she said, “Please determine whose these are—the signet and cord, and staff.”
So Judah acknowledged them and said, “She has been more righteous than I, because I did not give her to Shelah my son.” And he never knew her again. Genesis 38:24-26
Tamar heard that her father-in-law was at a certain location for celebrations, so she took off her grieving clothes, put on new ones, and covered herself to be unknown. She met her father-in-law, but he didn’t recognize her. He thought she was a harlot, so he asked to sleep with her. She agreed only with the condition of getting something personal from him. He gave her his signet, cord, and staff.
She found herself pregnant with Judah. When the father-in-law heard that his daughter-in-law Tamar was pregnant, he sentenced her to being burned because she had become a harlot. Tamar sent the signet, cord, and the staff to Judah to remind him of his own actions with the “unknown harlot” who happened to be her.
When Judah saw his own personal items, he said that she was more righteous than he was. Why did he make that statement? First of all, he did not follow through with the promise he had made to Tamar by giving his third son in marriage to her.
An Israelite man according to (Numbers 25:5-10) was expected to marry his deceased brother’s wife and have children with her in order to continue his family line. By Judah not giving his third son in marriage to Tamar, it would have left Tamar with a very bleak future since she had neither husband or any children.
Secondly, Judah was self-righteous because he demanded death for Tamar’s sin, but he did not see himself guilty of the same sin by sleeping with a harlot!
It is so much easier to see other people’s sin but not see our own sins. We usually don’t see our sins requiring any/much punishment; we may even demand mercy from others. However, when the roles are reversed, we don’t easily forgive or extend mercy to another who has sinned in a similar way.
We may criticize others for gossip but at the same time, we gossip. We may not feel loved, but we can be cold and indifferent toward others. We may complain about unfair treatment of others, but we are partial and treat some better than others. We are frustrated by others’ stubbornness or competitiveness, but truth be told we operate the same way. We just deceive ourselves by thinking that our actions are justified but others’ are unjustifiable!
Judah’s signet, cord, and staff became a mirror to see himself a sinner and a partner in crime! He admitted that he was wrong. He never slept with Tamar again. That was the place of Judah’s repentance.
Lord, thank you for exposing self-righteousness in us. Forgive us when we have operated in self-righteousness and have ignored our sin of pride! Please restore and heal our relationships! Amen!