Relational Commitments

Who are your friends? How well do you know the people around you?

Now when He was in Jerusalem at the Passover, during the feast, many believed in His name when they saw the signs which He did. But Jesus did not commit Himself to them, because He knew all men, and had no need that anyone should testify of man, for He knew what was in man. John 2:23-25

Commit: to think to be true, to be persuaded of, to credit, place confidence in, of the thing believed, to credit, have confidence.

Jesus came to lay down His life for us, so we can have life!!  Jesus declared, Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends”. John 15:13 Jesus was not afraid of loving us and giving Himself for us. It was for this purpose that He came to the world; that we may have life and have life more abundantly.

Jesus also knew that although He dearly loved people and His disciples, His relationship with them was not a peer to peer relationship. He was very aware that no matter how much He loved the people, no one was going to love Him the same way that He loved them. Here, we can observe the three types of relationships that Jesus had with people. He had his natural family, his mother, and his brothers. He also had His disciples whom He was training for the Great Commission, and finally He had the crowd who followed Him.

His Natural Family – In these relationships, when his natural family wanted to speak to Him, he very clearly declared, “Who is My mother and who are My brothers?”  And He stretched out His hand toward His disciples and said, “Here are My mother and My brothers!  For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother.” Matt 12: 48

Basically, while Jesus was a man who loved us deeply, he knew that the priority of His relationship and commitment with his people would need to be in relation to how they relate to the father. He would not give priority to natural family affections over the spiritual commitment. On the other hand, while on the cross He asked John to look after His Mother (John 19:27). This was showing us that He still loved her deeply and cared about her welfare after He was going to leave her, but regardless it that didn’t stop Him from doing the will of the Father!!

His Disciples He spent 3 ½ years of loving, teaching and pouring Himself into these disciples. His focus was always on the fact that at some point He was going to have to leave them. He revealed this to them over time as they were together. Sometimes His statements disappointed His disciples because they were so worldly focused that they were thinking in natural terms about the Kingdom of God. Jesus didn’t change His message to ensure the happiness of the disciples, but He prepared them for what was coming up in the near future, which was going to drastically change their relationships. Just before Jesus went to the cross, in the book of John He tells them, “No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.” John 15:15.  Their relationship had changed from the position of serving and being taught to the position of friendship with Jesus. Jesus had to observe a level of growth and commitment from the disciples before He could make that kind of statement.  Jesus knew that they needed a certain level of maturity and understanding before he could bring them so close to His heart and His mission.

His relationship with the Crowd Jesus knew very well that His message wasn’t going to be received by everyone, and He even warned His disciples that they will be persecuted in His name. However, Jesus went a step further. The above scripture (John 2:24-25) tells us that even when people received Him, Jesus did not commit himself to them because He knew what was in people’s hearts. The word “knew” speaks of very intimate knowledge of someone, as a husband and wife would know each other. Since Jesus knew people intimately and what was in their hearts, even when they received Him, He did not commit himself to them. The word “commit” means He didn’t put confidence in them. He knew that people can receive something to be true but unless they are tested, they will not know how strongly they have believed and received something. Time showed how true that was. The very people who cried out on the streets, “Hosanna, Hosanna..,” the following week were shouting “Crucify Him”. Peter, His own special disciple who was the first one in the group of disciples to declare that Jesus was the Messiah, was the one who denied Him three times when he was tested!!!

If Jesus had committed himself to anyone, He could have easily gotten discouraged and given up on God’s plan for His life as well as God’s plan for humanity, but because He didn’t commit Himself to them, He stayed stable and constant in the midst of shifting opinions and hearts.

If we are going to be effective people in our walk with God, we have to be very careful who we commit ourselves to. This is not a casual decision. It cannot be made based on emotion or even based on being heard or understood. This decision needs to be led by the Spirit, or it will lead us astray. We must be patient to allow God to take the relationship through its process and through testing. This will allow people’s character, their commitment, and their trust to be tested before we can see the person or the relationship clearly. This could avoid a lot of offenses, wrong expectations, and hurts in the body of Christ and in our lives. It will also keep us stronger in the faith and less vulnerable to people’s opinion of us. We must stay focused on Christ and understand His will for our relationships!!

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