This is the continuation from the last devotional in building healthy boundaries.
3. Seek the will of God in all things
In establishing healthy boundaries, seeking the will of God is very important.When we know His will, we will feel more confident in our decision in setting proper boundaries. Seeking the will of God shall prevent us from wondering if we just missed a great opportunity by declining to acquiesce to someone’s demands. It will comfort us in knowing we were not mean by saying “No” to someone. It will also help us not to be disappointed with those who didn’t follow our advise or instructions. Sometimes people are in a process with God, and His work is not finished with them.
His brothers therefore said to Him, “Depart from here and go into Judea, that Your disciples also may see the works that You are doing. For no one does anything in secret while he himself seeks to be known openly. If You do these things, show Yourself to the world.” For even His brothers did not believe in Him.
Then Jesus said to them, “My time has not yet come, but your time is always ready.The world cannot hate you, but it hates Me because I testify of it that its works are evil.You go up to this feast. I am not yet going up to this feast, for My time has not yet fully come.”When He had said these things to them, He remained in Galilee. John 7:3-9
Jesus is a great example of setting boundaries. He was asked and expected to do miracles and show up to different places. However, He did not allow others to pressure Him to do something out of the will of the Father. According to above scripture, Jesus knew that God planned to keep His identity hidden. Jesus couldn’t do what others were doing, and He was ok with it. Understanding the will of the Father, will help us not to be compelled to say, “Yes” to something because others are doing it.
In His interactions with His followers, many times Jesus prefaced His teachings with the word “If” . Jesus gave people a choice that “if” they desired wholeness, then God had certain instructions to help them get there. If Jesus gave a choice to people, how much more do we need to give room for people to make their own decision without the fear of reprisal!?
4. Communicate honestly and invite feedback
Sometimes people are not aware how they come across when they overstep others’ boundaries. It is important to have honest communication with individuals who have a history of boundary-less behavior and explain that their approach is pushy and domineering. Conversely, we may not see how our intensity or tone of voice can make people feel. We should invite feedback from others to ensure our method of communication gives room for others to be real with us.
Developing healthy boundaries is not easy, but it is a necessity to live a God honoring life. If people can love us only when we surrender ourselves to their wishes, then they really don’t respect and honor us. As our boundaries become healthy, the real person will begin to emerge!
