Lust operates on what’s in it for me, and puts a lot of stake on what is visible with the natural eyes. On the other hand, love operates on the basis of who God is and what He has done for us. Lust grows on the basis of our likes and preferences. Love grows on the basis on our faith in the Lord and looking at the cross.
Just as Jesus gave His life for us, so we may have life, we’re called to give of ourselves for the benefit of others. That’s the main dividing line between love and lust. Lust seeks the benefit of self, and love seeks the benefit of the kingdom and of others!!
Love holds onto relationships and perseveres through trials even when at times one may not see the benefit of staying in the relationship. Love is not possessive, but it is secure and doesn’t hold on tightly to anything or try to control people or situations.
Love builds others up even at the expense of one’s own position. Love has a great trust in God and as a result does not depend on what is visible or how one feels or thinks. Love is willing to be patient. Love is not looking for attention, or a pat on the back, but it gives generously and does not expect a repayment. Love is willing to wait and it does not have a time line associated with its giving. Love has great humility and is willing to serve and give to a wide group of people. Love does not envy, and it isn’t competitive. Love is not divisive.
That’s a tall order for many of us, but that’s how Jesus has called us to be. In order to take on love to that degree, it will require a great resolve, consistency, and dependency on the Lord. Sometimes, we may look around and say, “I don’t see anybody doing it that well.” That may be true, but God’s will for us does not change despite of how few may be following it successfully!!
We need to pursue love with a wholehearted focus. It should bother us when we could have loved better and we didn’t. It should make us very uncomfortable when we find ourselves envying someone. Those are carnal characteristics!!
Jesus spent 3 ½ years with Peter and the rest of the disciples. They each had their own idea of who Jesus was and what His Kingdom was all about. Peter was the one who recognized Him as the Christ. However, Peter had too much carnality still in Him to be much of a benefit to the Kingdom. After denying Jesus three times, he came to true understanding of his own carnality and self-absorption.
After the Resurrection, Jesus showed Himself to His disciples at the Sea of Tiberias (John 21). For the first time Jesus asked Peter if he loved Him. Jesus could have asked that question during the 3 ½ years that he spent with Peter, but He knew that Peter excitedly and quickly would have said that he loved Jesus without understanding the strength of his own flesh, and the shallowness of his love towards Jesus. After the denial of Jesus, he wasn’t quick to answer that question anymore. Jesus asked about Peter’s unconditional love (Agape love) toward Him, Peter responded by saying he had a friendship love (phileo love) towards Jesus. Peter had finally understood his limitations and that he was incapable of the kind of love Jesus was asking!!
For those of us who have walked with God for a number of years, we are in danger of hypocrisy. The reality is that we can have a good Bible knowledge and quote scriptures well. We can declare that we love God and everyone around us, but if we are not pursuing God passionately to take lust and carnality out of our hearts, we are deceiving ourselves. We can think that if we attend church and Bible Study regularly, we must be spiritual. However, others can look at us and say in their hearts,”Your competitiveness, control, or envy doesn’t match up with your claim to love and Truth”.
We have to ask ourselves, “Do I live life differently internally than before I knew Christ?
Then the Lord said to him, “Now you Pharisees make the outside of the cup and dish clean, but your inward part is full of greed and wickedness. Luke 11:39
The above scripture basically tells us that our actions and activities may have changed, but our internal world (things that cause us to strive, war, and envy) may have remained untouched. We are never justified to lust or envy, but we are always called to love!! Love will look differently at different times. Sometimes it can be tough, and sometimes it will be nurturing, but it will always be motivated by a desire to honor God and work towards someone else’s benefit.
Lord we pray that you would increase our capacity to love others without feeling like we will lose something if we do. Give us the courage to deny ourselves, so we can love better.