The Right Friendships (Part III)

When we develop healthy friendships and avoid unhealthy ones, we have the opportunity to enjoy the blessings of good friendships for the long haul.

We all desire to have close and loving friendships, but sometimes it is difficult to make and maintain good friendships. The scriptures give us insight into healthy and unhealthy friendships.

Avoid Whisperers 

A perverse man sows strife, And a whisperer separates the best of friends. Proverbs 16: 28

When we are in a friendship where each person finds the freedom to talk with no restraint anything about anyone, that’s a carnal and toxic relationship. They may gossip but they don’t call it gossip. They claim that they are sharing the truth; therefore, they don’t consider it gossip. These kinds of relationships revolve around people being their own self-appointed commentators about others’ lives.

The scripture has something to say about whispering in each others’ ears. Whispering in each others’ ears has to do with keeping something private or secret. Furthermore, out of insecurity, some people like to whisper to show their level of closeness with others. You don’t see Jesus whispering in His disciples’ ears.

Whispering is dangerous, and it leads to strife. We should avoid these kinds of friendships or at least discuss proper boundaries in the relationship.

Seek the Pure in Heart

A King will have to be choosy in picking his friends for there will be many drawn to him for wrong reasons. Because we are all on an assignment from the Lord to reach people and represent Him well, we can learn how a king chooses his friends.

He who loves purity of heart And has grace on his lips, The king will be his friend. Proverbs 22:11

A king appreciates someone who loves a pure heart because that kind of person chooses not to have ulterior motives. A person with a pure heart is determined not to manipulate the king because of his/her proximity to the king!

The scripture in Matthew 5:8 states,

“Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God.”

A person with a pure heart has an intimacy with the Lord that others don’t have. These individuals are more focused on pleasing God than pleasing men; this would include not flattering the king. With the pure in heart, what you see is what you get! There is no duplicity in them. Additionally, people with a pure heart can see and hear the Lord clearly, and they are not afraid of being the bearer of unpopular news. As a result, they are trustworthy because they are not politicking for the king’s favor!

People who are pure in heart don’t busy themselves with talking badly about others for they are gracious with their words. You don’t sense bitterness or criticism in their conversations. They are hopeful people.

My Grandmother was a woman who had grace on her lips. If we were upset with someone, she would never marginalize our feelings, but she would not nurture our offenses either. She always hoped and believed the best in people, and, as a result, her words about others were gracious.

Gracious words are important to anyone, especially to a king who carries a great burden and responsibility for the well-being of others. A good and courageous king wants to know the truth at all times. However, it is more palatable to hear it from someone who can handle bad situations with great grace. A friend who uses soft words to calm a tough circumstance is very valuable. Gracious words maintain the respect and honor of the king in times when he may be pressed from different directions.

A person who has a pure heart and gracious lips has integrity in delivering truth in such a way that it is not offensive but effective in benefitting the king as well as the kingdom. That’s the kind of friend that anyone would love to have in life!

What kind of friend are you to others!? What kind of friendships have you developed over the years? What needs to be changed in your friendships, so you can honor God and have healthy friendships!?



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