Selfishness is promoted in every aspect of society, and it has permeated the culture impacting people’s expectations, ambitions, dreams, and decisions. As God’s people, we are called to live differently. So how do we deal with selfishness in our lives!? Jesus gives us insight and instruction on this important issue.

Then He said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it. For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and is himself destroyed or lost? For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words, of him the Son of Man will be ashamed when He comes in His own glory, and in His Father’s, and of the holy angels. Mark 9:23-26

Jesus spoke to those listening and told them that those who want to follow Him must deny themselves. We cannot deny ourselves on a consistent basis apart from the enabling power of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Our human nature desires to take care of number 1 and do everything for the benefit of self. Our carnal nature does not want to be uncomfortable or inconvenienced.  Furthermore, it desires to protect itself from anything that might threaten its interests. Jesus knew this about human nature, and that is why He instructed us to live a spiritual life by denying the natural life.

Definition of Deny (According to Strong’s Dictionary):

1. to affirm that one has no acquaintance or connection with someone;

2. to forget one’s self, lose sight of one’s self and one’s own interests

The above definitions give us insight into what denying ourselves looks like. Denial requires disassociation with one’s old self and also letting go of our ideas and interests.

If we want to deny ourselves, we need to cut away our relationship with the old nature. We cannot cuddle it or go back to it when things are not working out as the way we hoped. That would be like having ended a bad dating relationship but when it all else fails, we go back to the person because they are better than nothing.

The problem with the old nature is that is it ruled by the selfish carnal life, and when you give it an inch, it will take a mile! The self does not go away easily and that is why Jesus tells us that we need to deny ourselves. Furthermore, we live in a culture that wants us to feed self and nurture all its desires. The world tells us that any thought and emotion is valid, and if we want to be real, we need to acknowledge and tend to those thoughts and emotions, so we can be our true self.

On the contrary, the Bible tells us that because we were born in sin and shaped in iniquity, we cannot trust our carnal ideas, thoughts, and emotions. To entertain any and every thought and emotion means that we will be entertaining the lust of the flesh, the lush of the eyes, and the pride of life. We need transformation. We need to get detoxed from our old selves and nurture the new nature in Christ. In addition, the scripture also tells us to hold captive thoughts, imaginations, and arguments.

The second part of the above definition speaks of losing our self-interests. When we are convinced that our ideas cannot bring the satisfaction we desire, we let go of our self-interests. Some of our self-interests are shaped by the culture that encourages people to be performance-oriented. The subtle reality of being performance-oriented is that it becomes about us, our achievements, and our success, and it neglects the impact of our decision on others. Furthermore, the culture does not embrace intimacy because that brings vulnerability. Lack of vulnerability pushes us further into being selfish making sure that we are protected and our needs are met because we don’t trust others.

Can you imagine how many marriages could be saved if individuals were willing to do the hard work of denying themselves and put their spouse’s interests before theirs? How many did not have to fail because one person decided to get selfish and commit adultery? How many could have been preserved because each person thought about the impact of their decision on their family instead of their own their dreams!?

The above scripture shows us to be truly satisfied in life, we need to follow Jesus and not entertain our ideas of happiness. Many times the denial of ourselves or our ideas is not going to be enjoyable or feel good, but we don’t have to be afraid. God sees us and He sees our desire to be a follower of His Son. Jesus was not ashamed of denying Himself in order to gain true life for us. He modeled a life of self-denial and taught His disciples that there is gain in letting go of controlling our lives! The profit we receive from losing our self-interests is far greater than anything we can achieve or make happen in our own strength. The Lord is our shepherd. He knows our needs, and He is the provider of our daily bread!

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay